Random thoughts among other things from a smelly good boy

31 May, 2007

When I was young it was very important to learn how to have class on the bike. There were older guys on the group rides and races that I used to do in NYC who would gently scold me, in the way only a New Yorker can, and I would ride, race and learn. It seems to me that there are no Lords of the Group Ride out here in P.C. Land.
Is it that everyone is so terrified to say anything in case they insult another rider? Guess what- I'm more insulted when you ride/race with no class. Examples as follows:
  • Decide where you're riding before you go out with your buddies. None of this "I'll see how I feel when I get out there" bullshite.
  • Either race, or don't. I don't care which one you pick, just don't sit at the front of the pack and not pull through, you f*cking wanker (this is applicable to faux-races too) You're a wet blanket so get away from the front.
  • Attack- you'll learn a lot about yourself off the front
  • If you sit on a breakaway and tell guys you won't sprint, keep to your word you f*cking ponce
  • No sudden attacks on mellow group rides (unless group ride is group faux-race that weekend warriors justify their carbon fiber purchases on). If you feel the need to go harder explain to your fellow riders- they'll understand. If they don't- don't ride with them anymore.
  • Don't get in the way of guys that want to ride harder than you.
  • Don't tell me "We can talk about it in the parking lot after the race" You really want to? Really? Ask yourself again and grip.
  • Don't try and steal another rider's bottles out of the hands of his feeder. Get your own friends & family, or ask before the race, or carry an extra bottle.
  • Don't try to "block" you f*cking wanker. No class- just stay out of the way. If you suddenly find yourself right in line to pull through, pull through and go back to the end of the line. If you feel the need to "block" you're telling me that you've no faith in your teammate up the road.
  • Realize when you're in the laughing group and have a laugh- you've been dropped, let it go. There's always another race. If you want to pull, then pull- just don't get frustrated when the guys in the group sit on as they know the race is over.
  • If you've intervals to do, go do them, just not on a group ride. NO one on it cares how fast you think you are.
  • Don't ever ask another rider where his helmet is if he'd not wearing one. What do you care? Do you see me at your office telling you what I think you're doing wrong at your job? Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness- look it up.
  • Aerobars have no place at a group ride. Go do Ironman- your buddies are there, not here.
  • Clean your bike, Pigpen.- and lube it too. $5000.00 bike and you can't afford WD-40? Wanker.
  • Stop turning around, the finish line is in front of you. If you're that insecure about seeing the wind go pack and hide your yellow ass in the pack, otherwise, pull through and STFU.
  • No halfwheeling in a two by two paceline- ever, you f*cking retard.

30 May, 2007

Ritchey Pro Road Stem, 110mm x 84 degree, 25.8mm, Black

Ritchey Pro Road Stem, 110mm x 84 degree, 25.8mm, Black

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New, never used, no packaging. Will ship anywhere in the USA for $6.00 USPS Priority Mail. Click to see more info.... Read more

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Date posted

2007-05-30 10:16:35

Location

Palo Alto, CA

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29 May, 2007

Star Wars Darth Vader Pewter Cork Screw

Star Wars Darth Vader Pewter Cork Screw

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160122415979

In honor of the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, I present to you this awesome corkscrew! For all you Darth Wine lovers out there... in a galaxy far, far away...

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End Time

2007-06-05 14:42:31

Location

Toronto, Ontario

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24 May, 2007

Evolution??


23 May, 2007

One thieving fat cat for sale

One thieving fat cat for sale

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- I'm putting my cat up for sale
- He stole my remote, held it hostage and drank all my beer
- I hate him
- He's very loveable- I just don't have feelings for him anymore
- He's yours for $40.00... Read more

Price

Price

Date posted

2007-05-23 11:14:20

Location

MenloPark, ca

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22 May, 2007

I sell a bunch of stuff on eBay, as most cyclists do and I'm alarmed at the new feedback system that they've rolled out. It tedious, insulting and highly annoying- adding one more complicated step to an already arduous process. There may be hope though, you can sign an e-petition that will be sent to eBay in protest of the new system. Sign your name here, if you don't like the new feedback system.

19 May, 2007

My boy Hendy on the front- OF THE GIRO!! Whooooo hooooo! Go Hendy, go Hendy, GO!

18 May, 2007

Anonymous said...

Suffer in your discontent. Feel the pain of being stomped by those that have less demanding (or no) careers - like you have done to those in the past. Then MAYBE you will experience a humble moment.

Once you learn this, the path will be more clear.

Or take the spineless, vain route and just call Rocky....


Let me guess- you race Masters 1,2,3 races? you have your own blog which you update incessantly? you have no career? had no cycling career? you've a lot of time to read cycling blogs all day? not really have a wife? think you stomp (stomp whom, exactly?)? you thought about buying yourself an altitude tent at age thirtyplussomething? You really think I'm going to be humbled in the master's field?

Or I could be totally off and you really do have a life.

I ate a lot of humble pie when I raced in Italy, so I really don't think you are going to humble me at some race in the valley.

Anonymous - you're funny, and a little spooky. I think you missed the point, I was looking for advice, not an angry zen haranguing, but thanks anyway! You really know how to make someone's day. Don't crash your bike. :>)-

17 May, 2007

This is the douchebag that's presently ruining the sport of cycling.

Note: This picture may change from week to week.

Lest we all forget, the sport had it's best chance to clean itself up after Tom Simpson died during the Tour de France in 1967, but we're now dealing with a Tour that has no clear winner. Terrific.



16 May, 2007


Work has been rough the last month, to say the least. Midnight oil sessions that are leaving my 14lb bike lonely, but what's a working boy to do? I'm still stuck on FakeProBoy schedule- early morning workouts, naps and then another workout before afternoon coffee. You fit in work around your riding schedule. Now- not so much. I've got to get my head on straight (if that's possible after working 12 hr days in front of a laptop, on the weekend) and make the time for the bike. I used to laugh at guys that talked about finding balance between work, life and the bike. I take it all back, every chuckle. I was young and dumb- now I know. I don't like it anymore than you did.
I've got to say though, it's nice having more money in the bank account. Which is better trying to figure out how your going to pay your mobile phone bill every month.

My hat is of to anyone that has achieved any semblance of balance. Please share with me the Yoda wisdom you possess for I am lost and treading water in my own discontent.

Then again, maybe I'll buy myself an altitude tent and become a great pretender when I get to my mid-life crisis.

15 May, 2007


If actors are using drugs, then what do you think athletes are doing? You really think they're just training hard and making their mothers proud?

14 May, 2007

North Face Apex Flight Soft Shell - Like New Parka

North Face Apex Flight Soft Shell - Like New Parka

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right now on eBay

200109123817

My buddy is selling this. It's as close to new as you can get! Git North Face cheeeeep!!

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End Time

2007-05-16 23:03:32

Location

San Francisco, CA

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Got a picture of me in the new kit, finally! I'm the one with the lamppost growing out of his helmet. Nice, huh? And I thought you were big headed! HA!

L to R: Dean (Not mean) LaBerge, truly, Kevin (Trident Missile) Metcalf, Wyatt (Watts) Weisel, Larry (El Toro) Nolan.

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS AUTHENTIC THROWBACK HOODIE 3XL

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS AUTHENTIC THROWBACK HOODIE 3XL

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170110560011

This item is currently for sale. Click below to bid or learn more!

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End Time

2007-05-16 15:56:25

Location

CHICAGO, IL.

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12 May, 2007

In Jesusland (AKA 'the South') there is a cult following behind a certain four wheeled vehicle.


In Australia, the mates covet the 'Last of the V8s'.

In Northern California, people covet a new generation of cars.


Will the new generation of cars ever stir our hearts like these cars of old? Will we pine for today's Lexus IS 300s, Civic Sis, or will we dismiss them as bubble cars that were too soft? Or will we find the car that reminds us of then, but only now, and yearn for when cars were made of steel, iron, piss and vinegar?

11 May, 2007

one pow cow

one pow cow

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Price

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Date posted

2007-05-11 19:59:19

Location

San Francisco, CA

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My cat needs a new home- he drank all my beer

My cat needs a new home- he drank all my beer

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$500.00

He's little white trash but loveable, like K Fed... Read more

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Location

San Francisco, CA

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08 May, 2007

OHMYGOD! This is the best- What the hell is attempted doping? A sphincter says what? Are you serious? This is the greatest example of someone channeling the Clinton explanation ever!

Ah well, no one ever said that cyclists were smart. Hey Basso, Ben Johnson called and said he's got a room for rent!